Estimated Reading Time: 9 Minutes7 Easy Ways to Turn a Situationship into an Awesome Relationship

I once had a client who thought he was building something deep with a girl he met on Hinge. She stayed over. They cooked together. She even left a toothbrush.

But when he finally asked, “What are we?”—she blinked and said, “I don’t want to put labels on it.” That toothbrush? Apparently, it wasn’t a sign of affection. Just bad oral hygiene planning.

Situationships are seductive because they give you just enough to feel hopeful… but never enough to feel secure. They’re like diet relationships: all the flavor, none of the fulfillment.

But here’s the thing: You can flip the script.

Yes, it’ll take some guts. No, it won’t involve vague astrology memes or manifesting texts at 11:11.  Just clarity, communication, and the willingness to act like your time and heart actually matter.

So, if you’re tired of getting emotional leftovers, here are 7 easy ways to move your situationship into the relationship you actually want—or walk away knowing you finally stopped settling for “almost.”

Let’s go.

1. Get Honest With Yourself First

A friend once told me she was “kind of dating” a guy for three years. They texted daily, hung out on weekends, hooked up, and even vacationed together.

But anytime she brought up the future, he’d vanish into a cloud of “I’m just not ready yet.”

She stayed. Not because she liked it. But because it was something—and something felt better than nothing.

That “something” was a situationship.

If you’re stuck in one, the first person you need to confront isn’t them. It’s you. Why? Because these half-baked relationships often start with one small lie we tell ourselves:

“I’m okay with this.”

When really, deep down, you’re not.

Situationships can feel like connection. They give you the thrill, the attention, and the closeness.

But without the tough conversations, the mutual effort, or the shared vision. It’s intimacy with an escape route. And that illusion? It works—until you want something real.

So here’s where you start: ask yourself the hard stuff:

“Am I looking for love, or just avoiding loneliness?”

“Have I made peace with this dynamic, or am I hoping they’ll change?”

“If this never moves forward, am I still choosing it?”

Answering those questions takes guts. And clarity.

If you’re feeling stuck, try this:

• Journaling – Write what you feel without judgment. Sometimes seeing your words on paper makes the truth impossible to ignore.

• A weekend retreat – Even a solo Airbnb stay can be a reset. Space helps you hear your own voice again.

• Meditation – Just ten minutes of silence a day can help you get out of your head and into your truth.

You don’t need to have all the answers. But you do need to stop lying to yourself. Because if you can’t be clear with you, you’ll never be clear with them.

And blurry intentions lead to blurry relationships. Always.

2. Communicate What You Want Without Fear

Let’s be real: if you’re entangled in a situationship, it’s time to stop hoping your partner will suddenly read your mind and start acting accordingly.

A 2023 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that clear, direct communication significantly enhances relationship satisfaction. In other words, expressing your needs and expectations isn’t just helpful—it’s essential.​

Speaking up can feel like walking into traffic wearing a “Please Reject Me” sign. But the longer you hold it in, the messier it gets. You end up resenting someone who never promised you anything—and that’s not heartbreak, that’s self-sabotage.

Here’s a simple way to bring it up without sounding like you’re proposing marriage in the middle of brunch:

“I really enjoy spending time with you, and I’m looking for something with a bit more clarity and commitment. Is that something you’d be open to talking about?”

That’s not pressure. That’s honesty with a side of emotional maturity.

And if they respond with a vague shrug, a joke, or the classic “I’m just not ready right now”—believe them. They’re telling you everything you need to know.

Don’t hang around hoping your silence will earn you commitment. It won’t. Silence is a yes to everything you don’t want.

So speak your truth, even if your voice cracks. Especially if it does. Because you’ll either get the clarity you crave—or the closure you’ve been avoiding.

3. Watch Their Response, Not Just Their Words

Let’s be honest: a situationship is full of nice words and lazy actions. People say what you want to hear, but they don’t always back it up.

So once you’ve had the talk—where you finally say, “Hey, I want something more than this situationship”—don’t just focus on what they say next.

Watch what they do.

They might respond with, “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too.”

That’s great… But if nothing changes? You’re still in the same stuck situationship—just with a new speech added on top.

If you still do all the work, if they keep you guessing, or if your plans are always last-minute, then let’s call it: this isn’t going anywhere.

You’re not in a “maybe” phase. You’re in a holding pattern. And that’s how most situationships die—slowly, and with mixed signals.

That 2023 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships makes it clear: when your partner is responsive—meaning they actually listen, care, and take real steps—you feel more secure. More connected. More valued.

If your person isn’t showing up, they’re not confused. They’re just not choosing to step up. And staying in a dead-end situationship hoping it will change is like watering fake plants.

You feel busy, but nothing’s growing.

A real partner takes action. They show you they care, not just say it. And if they’re not doing that? It’s time to stop making excuses for them.

Because the truth is simple: a situationship only drags on when you allow it to.

If they keep treating you like an option, they’re not “unsure”—they’re uninterested. And you?

You deserve more than crumbs. You deserve consistency, clarity, and someone who doesn’t make you question where you stand.

4. Raise Your Standards (Then Actually Stick to Them)

Let’s not sugarcoat it: most situationships survive because you keep lowering your standards to meet someone else’s lack of effort.

You call it “being patient.”

You say you’re “going with the flow.”

You convince yourself it’s mature not to need a label.

But let’s be honest—that’s not maturity. That’s fear in a self-help hoodie.

If you’ve already said what you want and you’re still stuck in emotional limbo, it’s time to raise your standards. Not by asking for perfection, but by deciding:

“This is the bare minimum I will accept for my time, energy, and emotions.”

That might look like:

• Not accepting last-minute plans.

• Not texting first every time.

• Not pretending you’re okay with casual when you’re craving connection.

And the hard part? You actually have to stick to it. Because standards don’t mean anything if you toss them the second a “u up?” text hits your phone.

Here’s the thing: Standards aren’t demands. They’re boundaries. And boundaries are how you teach people how to treat you.

According to the Gottman Institute, a leader in relationship research founded by psychologist Dr. John Gottman, healthy boundaries and clear communication are essential to long-term relationship success. As they explain:

“Boundaries are a recognition that we can’t control what others say or do, but we can control how we respond and what we allow into our environment.”

Clear boundaries don’t push the right people away. They protect your peace. And filter out the wrong ones—fast.

So if your situationship feels stuck, ask yourself:

“Are they unclear—or am I just afraid to walk away?”

Here’s a hard truth: if higher standards push them away, they were never going to give you what you wanted anyway. Don’t dim your needs just to stay in someone’s half-hearted orbit.

You’re not asking for too much. You’re just asking the wrong person.

5. Build a Life That Doesn’t Revolve Around Them

Here’s the harsh truth no one tells you: the more your life revolves around a situationship, the more it shrinks.

You stop going out with friends.

You stop exploring new hobbies.

You even pause your dreams just in case they decide to finally commit.

That’s not love. That’s emotional hostage-taking. And you’re both the hostage and the one holding the rope.

A situationship thrives in silence and stillness—when you’re waiting, hoping, checking your phone, and replaying conversations like they’re episodes of True Detective. But you know what kills a dead-end connection faster than anything else?

A life that’s too full to fit someone half in.

You want a fulfilling relationship? Start by creating a fulfilling you. Fill your calendar with things that light you up—things that don’t require their attention, approval, or involvement.

Take that dance class. Start that side hustle. Get drinks with friends who don’t flake. Build a life where you are the main character, not an emotional sidekick in someone else’s vague situationship script.

Psychologists call this self-expansion theory. The idea is simple: we’re happier in relationships when we feel like we’re growing, not shrinking.

If your situationship is keeping you small—making you question your worth, your time, your value—it’s not helping you grow. It’s just draining you.

So flip the script.

Instead of waiting for them to step up, step into your own life.

Because the stronger and more grounded you feel outside of the situationship, the less power it has over you.

And here’s the kicker: when you stop orbiting around them, they’ll notice. They might panic. They might suddenly want “to talk.” But by then, you’ll know better.

You’re not here to be someone’s placeholder. You’re here to be someone’s priority.

6. Define the Relationship—Even If It’s Awkward

If you want to turn a situationship into something real, you need to stop playing the “let’s just see where this goes” game.

Spoiler: It goes nowhere. Fast.

Defining the relationship doesn’t mean dropping ultimatums or demanding matching couples’ tattoos. It just means getting brutally honest about what you want—and asking them to do the same.

Yes, it’s going to feel awkward. Vulnerability always does.

According to research professor Brené Brown, whose work delves into vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame:

“Vulnerability is about having the courage to show up and be seen.”

And most situationships crumble right there—because showing up honestly risks rejection. It’s easier to stay in the fog than face the sunlight of clarity.

But fog breeds anxiety, not intimacy. You end up stuck in your head, overanalyzing texts, wondering if you’re being “too much” or not enough.

You’re stuck guessing—instead of knowing—what this connection actually is.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone puts it like this in her article, How Embracing Vulnerability Strengthens Our Relationships:

“When we resist vulnerability, we’re listening to a voice that’s telling us we shouldn’t be open. But in truth, we’re actually denying the people close to us by not allowing them to fully know us.”

Translation? If you want something real, you need to stop hiding your needs behind casual coolness. You’re not “too much” for asking where things are going. You’re just finally being honest.

So have the damn conversation. Try saying:

“I care about you, and I enjoy our time together. But I’m looking for a real relationship, not just a situationship. What are you looking for right now?”

Simple. Direct. Zero drama.

If they fumble the answer or cloak it in maybes and what-ifs, that’s not just a red flag—it’s a deal breaker. Congrats—you just saved yourself another six months of emotional purgatory.

If they’re on the same page? Great. You’ve just taken the first real step toward a relationship that actually has a future.

Here’s the truth:

Don’t define the relationship to force anything. Define it to free yourself.

Whether the answer is a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, you walk away with power, clarity, and your dignity intact. Because staying quiet to “keep the peace” is just you choosing slow heartbreak over five minutes of discomfort.

You’re worth way more than that.

And deep down, you already know it.

7. If It Doesn’t Evolve—Walk Away With Your Head High

Here’s the cold, uncomfortable truth about situationships: not all of them are meant to become relationships. And that’s okay.

Some people are emotionally unavailable. Others chase the perks of intimacy without any of the accountability. And then there are those simply passing time, dodging their own issues—while you become the convenient distraction.

If you’ve had the talk, made your needs clear, and nothing changes? That’s not a ambiguity. That’s your answer.

A one-sided situationship isn’t love—it’s limbo.

Walking away doesn’t mean you failed. It means you finally chose yourself over breadcrumbs. And choosing yourself is the biggest power move you can make.

Will it sting? Of course. You’re human. But you’re not fragile. You’ve already been doing emotional gymnastics in a situationship—so clearly, you’ve got the strength to walk away when it no longer serves you.

You don’t need a villain to justify leaving. You just need the courage to admit: “This isn’t what I want anymore.”

So gather your peace, your standards, and your self-respect—and go.

Because the right person won’t leave you confused. They’ll show up with clarity, consistency, and commitment—without needing a PowerPoint presentation to explain how they feel.

And until that person arrives?

Be the one who refuses to settle for less.

Final Thoughts: Stop Settling for “Almost”

Let’s be honest. Situationships are like emotional junk food—easy, addictive, and ultimately unsatisfying. They give you just enough connection to keep you hanging on, but never the depth you actually crave.

But you? You’re not here for crumbs. You’re here for the full meal.

You want something real. Stable. Grounded. Not a half-baked maybe with great chemistry and zero direction.

So here’s the bottom line:

If you’re stuck in a situationship, you’ve got two options—stay and spin your wheels, or get clear, speak up, and move forward. Maybe that means building something stronger together. Maybe it means walking away.

Either way, it means choosing self-respect over confusion. And trust me, that choice will change everything.

Because the person who respects themselves enough to set standards? They’re the person who attracts a relationship worth having.

So go ahead—have the conversation. Risk the awkwardness. Say what you need. And whatever happens next? You’ll be walking toward something better.

Real love isn’t afraid of clarity. It thrives in it.