Estimated Reading Time: 9 MinutesHow To Stop The Devastating Cycle Of Self Sabotage

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.”

Table of Contents

You’re teetering on the brink of achieving your dreams, and yet, like a master magician performing a trick you can’t quite figure out, you self sabotage.


Yes, you read that right—you’re the saboteur of your own aspirations.


Now, let’s dive into these mind-boggling scenarios…


Imagine breaking a sweat at the gym for two relentless hours, sculpting your body into a masterpiece. But the moment you step through your front door, a fiendish impulse seizes you.


You surrender to overeating, as if your willpower vanished into thin air. And to top it off, you’re drowning yourself in alcohol, as if it’s the elixir of self-destruction.

Or perhaps you find yourself facing the pivotal moment of your academic journey. Tomorrow’s college entrance exam is your golden ticket to the future.


The world waits with bated breath for your brilliance. But what do you do? You choose an all-night party extravaganza with friends, as if dancing your dreams away were the answer.


And then, there’s that golden opportunity—the dream job you’ve been coveting for ages. The only thing standing between you and the coveted position is a simple interview—your chance to shine.


But what do you do at the eleventh hour? You vanish into thin air, leaving your ambitions hanging by a thread.


Self Sabotage: Getting In Your Own Way

In these tales of self sabotage, the saboteur is none other than the protagonist. It’s time to break free from the shackles of your own undoing and seize the reins of your destiny.


Ever caught yourself in the throes of self sabotage, wondering why you’d willingly trip yourself up?


Picture this: self sabotage, the art of deliberately undermining your own progress, is like a rogue saboteur lurking in the shadows of your psyche, wreaking havoc on your personal goals and values.


As the folks over at Psychology Today put it, these are the behaviors that “creates problems in our life and interferes with long-standing goals.” When your actions don’t align with your well-intentioned aspirations, that’s the self sabotage alarm bell ringing.


In simple terms, it’s akin to being your own worst enemy, derailing your best-laid plans, and sending them off course. You’ve got the blueprint for success, but somehow, you’ve morphed into an unexpected roadblock.


So, how did you end up aiming for your own foot instead of shooting for the moon? How did you become your own nemesis?


And most importantly, how do you break free from this cycle of self sabotage, sparing yourself further damage? Let’s dive deep and uncover the answers.




Why Do People Self Sabotage?

Ever pondered the curious enigma of self sabotage? To unravel this mystery and break free from its grip, we must first delve into the depths of its origins.


Dr. Judy Ho, the author of Stop Self-sabotage, enlightens us. Self sabotage, it turns out, is no mere accident but a primal instinct deeply rooted in our biology, a mechanism once crucial for survival.


As humans, we dance to the rhythm of two primal tunes: the avoidance of threats and the pursuit of rewards. When these melodies harmonize, we find ourselves in a state of mental equilibrium, a paradise of balance.


However, when the siren call of threat-avoidance drowns out the anthem of goal achievement, self sabotage stealthily creeps in. Dr. Ho eloquently describes it as follows:

“However, when these two desires are out of whack, we are primed to self sabotage. Specifically, the pursuit of avoiding threats at the expense of attaining rewards takes us away from our desired goals. Self sabotage occurs when your drive to reduce threats is higher than your drive to attain rewards.”


Self Sabotage: The Silent Adversary



The battlefield of self sabotage is your subconscious, where your primal instincts engage in a clandestine tug-of-war with your conscious, rational mind.


These self sabotaging tendencies often lie dormant, lurking in the shadows. Their inception may be subtle, like a whisper in the night, but their insidious progression can consume you without warning.


You may not even notice until you’re trapped in a bottomless pit with no ladder in sight.


But here’s the silver lining: you’re not alone. In fact, self sabotage is the common thread weaving through countless stories of unfulfilled dreams and unrealized goals.


You undermine your own success in one of two ways:

  1. By obstructing your noble intentions and aspirations,


2. Through acts of omission, where you neglect to take the necessary steps forward.


In simpler terms, self sabotage takes the form of passive or deliberate self-impediment, be it in relationships, career pursuits, or personal ambitions. It’s the silent adversary we must confront on our quest for personal growth and fulfillment.


Three Telltale Signs of Self Sabotage

Here we go, unraveling the three unmistakable signs of self-sabotage in all their elusive glory:


1. The Shadow of Self-Doubt

Have you ever met someone who seems to excel at shooting themselves in the foot? They walk through life with an eerie cloud of self-doubt casting a perpetual shadow.


These individuals, often grappling with low self-esteem, harbor an unconscious belief that they’re unworthy of success or happiness.


To compensate for this perceived inadequacy, they pour an excessive amount of effort into every endeavor, but it’s an uphill battle against their self-imposed limitations.


And when, by some twist of fate, things finally start falling into place, it’s like watching a house of cards crumble before your eyes.


Deep down, they feel like losers, and their inner critic delights in validating these feelings of worthlessness. In the fascinating realm of psychology, this internal clash of beliefs is known as Cognitive Dissonance Theory.


When actions and beliefs clash, the subconscious deploys all its resources to reconcile the inconsistency.


For instance, when someone feels undeserving of a slim and attractive physique, they might embark on a fitness journey only to sabotage it with binge eating as soon as progress is made.


The mind, in its infinite complexity, strives to maintain harmony, even if it means undermining one’s own goals.


2. The Procrastination Abyss


Imagine this all-too-relatable scene: You have a project with a looming deadline and a ticking time bomb of responsibility.


Instead of diving into it, you find yourself immersed in a Netflix binge or endlessly scrolling through your Instagram feed. The chronic procrastination cycle takes hold, and you’re left with a growing mountain of tasks postponed indefinitely.


For those who claim they “work better under pressure,” procrastination might initially seem like a harmless quirk. But beware, for this deceptive ally has a dark side.


Habitually relying on last-minute heroics can lead to missed deadlines and an avalanche of unfinished business.


The root of this self sabotaging behavior lies in anxiety, fear of failure, and the sheer exhaustion of willpower. These concerns, like relentless shadows, cast doubt on one’s ability to conquer tasks in a timely manner.


And so, the cycle perpetuates itself—a self-inflicted whirlwind of delays and dashed ambitions.


This is the breeding ground for self sabotage, where the seeds of inertia sprout into a tangled forest of missed opportunities.


3. The Art of Walking Away

Have you ever walked away from an important goal because things did not go smoothly as planned? It’s a classic case of self sabotage fueled by the infamous “all-or-nothing” perfectionist mentality.


Picture this: You’re on a mission, chasing a goal with relentless determination. But here’s the catch: if even one part of that goal falters, you’re tempted to throw in the towel on the entire endeavor.


It’s the perfectionist’s paradox. Every hiccup, every mistake, feels like an outright failure. And you will end up with a set of unrealistic goals and thought patterns that are self-defeating.


Because you can’t accept any flaws in yourself, you start sabotaging your own projects, right when victory is within arm’s reach.


How to Stop Yourself From Self Sabotage 



Breaking free from the clutches of self sabotage isn’t a walk in the park. To embark on this journey, let’s first peek behind the curtain and explore how your behaviors weave themselves into the fabric of habit.


Habits are the unsung conductors of your life’s symphony. That daily commute you follow religiously A habit. Washing your hands before a meal without a second thought Another habit.


Your brain, with its intricate network of neurons, is the grand maestro orchestrating these routines into a seamless performance.


As the age-old adage goes, “neurons that fire together wire together.” In other words, the more you traverse a particular neural pathway, the deeper its groove is in the vinyl of your mind.


So, to cultivate new habits, you must first don your detective hat and unearth your current behavioral patterns.


These self sabotaging thought patterns been imprinted in your subconscious mind for years (or even decades). Undoing these self sabotaging triggers will take some introspection.




Those self sabotaging thought patterns you’re wrestling with? They’ve been etched into your subconscious for what seems like eons.


Undoing these triggers calls for some deep introspection, akin to rummaging through dusty boxes tucked away in your basement.


Picture it: You’re sifting through memories from days gone by, much like you sift through those long-forgotten boxes in search of relics. These relics might be past events, lingering in the shadows, but still wielding the power to spark self sabotage in the present.


Once you’ve pinpointed these pivotal moments from your past that continue to shape your present thought patterns, the real work begins. It’s like acquiring a new set of tools for your mental toolkit.


But remember, simply having these tools won’t cut it. You must wield them repeatedly, reinforcing these new thought patterns until they take root and crowd out the old, self sabotaging ways of thinking that lurk in the recesses of your subconscious mind.


Overcome Self Sabotage With Hypnotherapy

Picture this: self sabotage, the formidable foe within, lurking beneath the surface, driven by thought patterns that have long overstayed their welcome.


To vanquish this formidable adversary, a transformation of the mind is in order. And the secret weapon? Hypnotherapy.


This is a realm where the mind’s hidden chambers are laid bare. Through hypnotherapy, you forge a connection with your unconscious mind.


It’s a tête-à-tête with the deepest recesses of your psyche, where unwanted thought patterns are evicted and replaced with their more constructive counterparts.


Here, you mold your subconscious into a haven of positive self-perception, a crucible of constructive thinking, and a wellspring of unwavering optimism.


Hypnotherapy can help you identify events from your past (or present) that led to your self sabotaging behavior.


So, with unwavering resolve, are you ready to transform your life, to break the shackles of self sabotage, and to embrace the path of healing and growth? Allow me to offer you a self-hypnosis script, a key to transformation and to conquering self-sabotage.

Bonus Section

Hypnosis To Eliminate Self-Sabotaging Behavior

Let’s begin with a hypnosis script that helps you relax and calm you mind. As you immerse yourself in this script, you’ll gradually be introduced to suggestions that assist you in eliminating self-sabotaging behavior.


The objective is two-fold:

  1. If this is your first experience with hypnosis, it will dispel any preconceived notions you may have about hypnosis.
  2. You are priming your subconscious mind to ‘take instructions’ from your conscious mind.


Find a quiet comfortable place where you are able to relax.




Gently close your eyes and take a deep breath…with each breath you are feeling more and more comfortable and more and more relaxed…where ever you are now…you are experiencing a very calm and confident feeling…even if you can hear sounds coming from around you… it only helps you to relax even more.


Because you are so relaxed …with every breath…you begin to feel free from all tensions…all anxieties and all fears…you realize this first step that you have just taken will lead your life to greater joy and success…


And you begin to feel a strength from within you…a strength that motivates you to overcome any and every obstacle…anything that may stand in the way of your happiness…and success.


From this moment onwards…you will find that you have greater self-control…and you are able to face every situation in a calm and relaxed state of mind…and this is also the moment where your life will be different…


Because of how your subconscious mind will handle and manage information…this difference will allow you to make the appropriate choices at the appropriate times.


And from this moment onwards…your mind only attracts all that which positive, loving and empowering…


Your mind is like a filter…


It takes in the positive and expel all negative beliefs and thoughts from your mind…it will only accept suggestions that will influence you in a positive, forceful and empowering manner.


With each breath…you can now feel that negative thoughts, beliefs and concepts have absolutely no control over you…whether you are in a conscious or subconscious state…it does not really matter at all…you will remain in complete and total control at all times…


Positive thoughts, positive actions, positive beliefs will follow you… throughout the rest of your life and just as the day follows the night…from now on you will experience positive and empowering changes that is spontaneous and natural…and you will be absolutely and totally free of self-sabotaging beliefs.


As you are in a comfortable state right now…with each breath…you begin to feel that your confidence is increasing as the days and weeks and months go by… your fears and helplessness in the past are now being overwhelmed with confidence, strength and self-control…and with each passing moment…


You are becoming a more joyful and happy person with a positive attitude towards life…you will begin each day with a fresh vibrant attitude…and right now you have all the abilities necessary for success.


Now…just enjoy this moment…as your body and mind are filled with positive energy…and in that comfortable state…be aware that you will awaken in a few moments time…you will wake up feeling fresh, energized and empowered…


Upon awakening…you will find that your past habits and beliefs that no longer serve you today will gradually be replaced by powerful new habits that you will be creating… because you know that the power is in the present…and from this point forth…you will take the necessary steps to create something fulfilling in every area of your life.

The Next Stage


You see, the very term “self sabotage” contains the clue to its origin—it’s a dance that begins with none other than your own self.


If you possess the power to undermine your own progress, then, by the same token, you wield the authority to elevate yourself and make choices that lead to a brighter, more purposeful existence.


As you grasp the reins of your existence, the shackles of self-doubt shatter, and the path forward unfurls before you like a blank canvas awaiting your masterpiece.


You, and only you, possess the brush to paint the vibrant strokes of your life’s narrative.


So, take a moment to decide, with unwavering determination, the direction in which you wish to steer your life. The power to mold your future lies within your grasp.


Your destiny awaits, and all it takes is the resolute decision to embark upon the path you choose.

DISCLOSURE: In my article, I’ve mentioned a few products and services, all in a valiant attempt to turbocharge your life. Some of them are affiliate links. This is basically my not-so-secret way of saying, “Hey, be a superhero and click on these links.” When you joyfully tap and spend, I’ll be showered with some shiny coins, and the best part? It won’t cost you an extra dime, not even a single chocolate chip. Your kind support through these affiliate escapades ensures I can keep publishing these useful (and did I mention free?) articles for you in the future.

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