“Two elements must therefore be rooted out once for all, – the fear of future suffering, and the recollection of past suffering; since the latter no longer concerns me, and the former concerns me not yet.”
Regret is that annoying little voice in your head that whispers, “Hey, remember that time you made a complete fool of yourself? Let’s relive it in HD.”
It’s like a Netflix series you didn’t subscribe to, yet somehow, it’s always playing. Maybe it’s the job you didn’t take, the words you should’ve said, or—let’s be honest—that questionable haircut from 2018.
Here’s the thing: regret is universal. It’s as much a part of life as taxes, slow Wi-Fi, and that one friend who always forgets their wallet. But wallowing in it?
That’s optional. The problem isn’t regret itself—it’s how we handle it. Regret doesn’t have to be a life sentence.
The difference between people who stay stuck in the past and those who move forward isn’t luck—it’s mindset. Some let regret weigh them down like an overstuffed backpack, while others find a way to unpack, learn, and keep going.
In this post, we’ll break down 8 life-changing ways to overcome regret and move forward—practical, no-BS methods that actually work.
Ready to ditch the guilt trip and take control? Let’s dive in.
Regret is like that one friend who always points out your mistakes—annoying, persistent, but occasionally, they have a point. The problem isn’t regret itself; it’s how we interpret it.
Most people treat regret like a personal failure, a cruel reminder that they should have known better. But let’s be honest—if we all knew better at the time, we wouldn’t have made those choices in the first place.
The real difference between people who stay stuck in regret for life and those who move forward is simple: they stop seeing regret as punishment and start treating it as feedback. Every regret holds a lesson, and those lessons are what shape us into better, wiser, and—hopefully—less reckless human beings.
Think about it: if a past mistake taught you something valuable, was it really a waste? Regret without reflection is just mental self-torture.
But regret with reflection?
That’s growth. Instead of replaying the past like a bad movie, try this:
The goal isn’t to erase regret but to make sure it serves a purpose. Because if you’re going to live with regret, you might as well make it work for you.
Regret and shame often come from one thing: wishing the past were different. It’s like arguing with reality and expecting to win. Spoiler alert—you won’t.
What’s done is done, and no amount of mental gymnastics will change that. The only real choice? Accept it.
The ancient Stoics—think of them as the original “no excuses” philosophers—had a concept called Amor Fati, which means love your fate. It’s not just about accepting what happens; it’s about fully embracing it.
Instead of resenting the past, what if you saw it as necessary? What if, instead of thinking, “I wish that never happened,” you thought, “That needed to happen for me to become who I am today”?
That’s the power of loving your fate—not just tolerating it, but owning your story, even the messy, embarrassing, and painfully awkward chapters. The past isn’t your enemy; it’s your foundation.
Try this:
Living without regret doesn’t mean making perfect choices—it means making peace with the ones you’ve already made.
Guilt. Second thoughts. That nagging “what-if” that sneaks up on you at 2 AM. Dwelling on past mistakes can feel like being stuck in a loop, replaying scenes you wish had gone differently.
Most people avoid this discomfort at all costs. They either bury their missteps under a mountain of distractions—think endless scrolling and binge-eating —or pretend they never happened.
But the only way to actually move forward is to face those uncomfortable truths head-on. Dr. J. Kim Penberthy, professor of psychiatry at the University of Virginia, explains that:
“Forgiving yourself for actions taken or not taken is a powerful step toward overcoming regret.”
This means owning up to your mistakes, no matter how uncomfortable it feels. It means looking at what happened—not through a lens of self-punishment, but through a lens of growth.
Regret vs. guilt is a battle most people don’t even realize they’re fighting. Guilt is useful—it pushes you to make things right. Regret, when ignored, just becomes dead weight. The key is to transform it into action.
Try these simple but powerful processes:
Ignoring your past won’t change it, but understanding it will change you. The discomfort is temporary; the wisdom lasts a lifetime.
Most people deal with regret by obsessing over what they lost. What if you flipped the script and focused on how much worse things could have been?
Enter negative visualization, a powerful mental exercise that fosters gratitude for what remains instead of regret for what’s lost.
Here’s how it works: Imagine waking up tomorrow and suddenly losing something you take for granted—your job, your home, even a loved one.
Morbid? Maybe. But weirdly effective? Absolutely. The goal isn’t to scare yourself—it’s to shift your perspective.
Regret or remorse often comes from not realizing what we had until it’s gone. By mentally preparing for loss, you start valuing the present more, reducing future regrets before they even happen.
One of my clients struggled with deep regret over ending a long-term relationship. She couldn’t stop fixating on “what if”—what if she had tried harder, what if she had been more patient?
Through hypnotherapy and negative visualization, she imagined an alternative reality where she stayed in the relationship but lost herself in the process. Instead of regret for life, she found gratitude for her newfound freedom and personal growth.
The result? She stopped romanticizing the past and started embracing the present.
Try this negative visualization exercise:
When you train your mind to see the value in now, you naturally start to live without regret. And that? That’s a game-changer.
Regret has one job: to drag you back into the past and make you relive your worst decisions on repeat. But here’s the truth—you can’t rewrite the past, and you can’t control the future.
The only thing within your power is right now. And yet, most people spend their days stuck in a mental time machine, either replaying past mistakes or stressing over what’s next. Neither helps.
So, how do you break free? You train your mind to stay here, now—and two of the best tools for that are meditation and retreats.
(Bonus: You also lower stress and get better at ignoring nonsense).
Here are two ways you can focus and enjoy the present moment:
Regret vs. guilt? Regret keeps you stuck. Presence moves you forward. Choose wisely.
Regret has a way of making your mistakes feel like the end of the world. But are they? Really? Or are they just a tiny blip in the grand scheme of things?
The Stoics had a trick for this—they called it the View From Above. The idea is simple: zoom out. Instead of obsessing over your regrets, step back and see the bigger picture.
Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor who basically wrote the world’s best self-help journal, put it this way:
“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live it properly.”
Psychologist Robert Leahy, PhD, author of If Only…Finding Freedom From Regret, explains that regret isn’t inherently bad—it’s how you process it that matters.
He distinguishes between productive and unproductive regret:
Some people are naturally more prone to dwelling on regret than others, but the key takeaway? Regret only has power over you if you keep feeding it.
So, how do you break free? Try this:
Because at the end of the day, regret isn’t the problem—your perspective is. Change that, and you change everything.
Regret often comes from one simple yet frustrating truth: wishing you could change something that’s already set in stone. It’s like trying to rewrite an email after you’ve hit send. You can stress about it all you want, but unless you own a time machine, that ship has sailed.
The Stoics had a no-nonsense way of dealing with this—the dichotomy of control. It’s the idea that there are only two categories in life:
Let’s put it into perspective. You can’t change the past, force people to like you, or magically undo mistakes. But you can control how you respond, what you learn, and what you do moving forward.
Regret or remorse thrives when you waste energy on the uncontrollable instead of focusing on what you can fix.
Take one of my clients, for example—he spent years regretting not starting his business sooner. He’d spiral into, “If only I had taken the leap earlier, I’d be successful by now!”
But when he shifted his focus from the past to what he could do today, he finally made progress. His business took off, and those wasted years? Suddenly irrelevant.
Want to regain control of your life? Try this:
Regret for life happens when you fight battles you can’t win. But when you focus on what’s within your power? That’s when things finally change.
Regret is like debt—you can either let it drag you down, or you can start making better financial decisions (or. in this case, life decisions) today. The best way to stop regretting the past? Live wisely from now on.
The Stoics had a simple framework for this:
The Four Virtues—think of them as life’s built-in compass:
You don’t need to rewrite your whole life overnight. Just start making one small decision each day that aligns with virtue.
Regret for life only happens when you keep making the same mistakes. To break the cycle, try this:
Then, shift your focus—how will you act differently moving forward?
Instead of just thinking about change, make it real—write it down, commit, and follow through.
The past is written, but your next chapter? That’s entirely up to you.
Regret and shame don’t define you—your next decision does. You can keep playing the “What If?” game, rehashing past mistakes like a bad movie you refuse to stop watching, or you can do something radical—move forward.
The truth? The past is a lesson, not a life sentence. You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to be intentional. The future isn’t waiting for you to feel “ready” or for some magical moment to erase your regrets.
It’s shaped by what you do right now.
So, here’s your challenge: Pick one strategy from this list. Apply it today. Not next week, not someday—today.
Then, rewrite your story, one decision at a time.
DISCLOSURE: In my article, I’ve mentioned a few products and services, all in a valiant attempt to turbocharge your life. Some of them are affiliate links. This is basically my not-so-secret way of saying, “Hey, be a superhero and click on these links.” When you joyfully tap and spend, I’ll be showered with some shiny coins, and the best part? It won’t cost you an extra dime, not even a single chocolate chip. Your kind support through these affiliate escapades ensures I can keep publishing these useful (and did I mention free?) articles for you in the future.
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