Are you aware that, within you, there is a powerful and confident self?
In Marianne Williamson’s best-selling self-help book, A Return to Love, she said:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
An author, self-help guru, and spiritual advisor to Oprah, Williamson hit home with these words. Most of us have a hidden fear that we are powerful beyond measure.
Because we are.
If your confident self hasn’t shown up yet, it is possible that you’re afraid of what you’re capable of. Or it could be that you have forgotten how powerful you can be.
Having confidence often leads to a happy and fulfilling life. It equips you with the grit and determination to deal with disappointments and setbacks.
A confident self also means you can accept your weaknesses while celebrating your strengths. Confidence also boosts self-esteem.
You believe in yourself when you have a healthy self-esteem. You will have faith in your abilities and will be more successful in all of your pursuits.
People who have confidence are comfortable in their own skin. However, not everyone is born with confidence.
Being confident might be difficult for people who are naturally critical of themselves. Fortunately, there are many ways to develop a confident self.
One of the simplest methods is to simply change your mental attitude.
You have powers within that you might be completely unaware of. They’ve always been inside you. Maybe they have just been lying dormant in your subconscious mind all along.
These powers can be unleashed with the right mental attitude. It can assist you in building your self-confidence. Your mindset plays a huge role in helping you achieve success in life.
The way you think has a direct impact on your results. Your decisions and behaviors are influenced by your thoughts. That is why having the right sets of thoughts (mindsets) determines the outcome in your life.
To put yourself on the right course to confidence and success, you need to have the right mindset. Here are five mindsets that can transform your life and allow you to be your most powerful, confident self.
One powerful trait within you that you need to be aware of is:
“You have all of the resources and abilities you need to accomplish anything you want in life.”
Resources are the internal and external behaviors required to achieve a specific outcome. Simply said, you already have the ability to succeed. Despite the fact that you may not be aware of it.
There is no such thing as an unresourceful person. A person is only unresourceful if they have an unresourceful state of mind. If you can tap into your endless reservoir of resources, you can achieve any goal you set for yourself.
Change your physiology if you’re lacking in confidence. You do this by adjusting your body posture, breathing, and internal dialog. Inside your head, your internal dialogue is the “conversation” you have with yourself. You’ll find that a change in your physiology has an automatic impact on your mental state and confidence level.
If you want to learn to play the saxophone, this does not imply that you are already a saxophonist. Your mental structures, reasoning abilities, life experiences, and emotions have all helped you learn this musical instrument.
And it’s just a matter of picking up the instrument and investing some time on it. Think leather-clad Carrie-Anne Moss in the Matrix learning how to fly a helicopter.
In fact, a group of trainees from the US army learned to fly a Sikorsky S-76B helicopter in as little as 45 minutes.
One effective way to excel in what you have set out to achieve is to identify a role model. You just need to find someone who has already excelled in what you are aspiring to achieve.
This role model could be living, dead, or a fictional or non-fictional character. One or both of your parents, a friend, a teacher, or a coach could be involved. It might be Bruce Lee, Martin Luther King Jr., or even Captain America, the Marvel comic character.
After identifying your role model(s), you can analyze and consider what resources they have and use to achieve success.
I’m sure you’ve heard of (or read books by) Dr. Theodor Seuss Geisel as a child. Under the pen name “Dr. Seuss,” he wrote many of the most popular children’s books of all time.
Here’s one of my favorite quotes from him:
“You have brains in your head. You’ve feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the one who’ll decide where you’ll go. Oh, the places you’ll go.”
This phrase may serve as a stark reminder to you that your mind is responsible for creating the results in your life. The human mind is powerful beyond imagination, and it can help you create the results and outcomes that you desire.
You can harness the power of your mind to make all of your dreams come true. All you need is the right focus.
Another area where this powerful mindset will come in handy is emotional mastery. Because a thought precedes every action, behavior, emotion, and response.
All of your actions and emotions are under your control. This is because your thoughts have an indirect impact on your outcomes.
For example, it’s easy, for example, to blame people for making you angry or even forcing you to do something.
However, after you’ve mastered controlling your reactions and behaviors, you’ll discover that no one can truly “make” you angry. You will only get angry when you “allow” someone to make you angry.
Because your nervous system filters all of your behaviors and feelings, no one can really force you to do anything.
Do you recall when you first began to walk? It could have been a long time ago.
If you observe a child learning to walk, you will see that he or she has no concept of failure. The child would stand, take a few steps, fall and repeat the cycle.
The child repeats this process until he or she is able to walk independently. That’s most likely how you learned “the art of walking” as a kid.
Later in life, though, this sense of failure begins to emerge. And it frequently prevents us from attaining the objectives we set for ourselves.
Most of us regard failure as something negative.
Mistakes or failures are part of life. In fact, failures are just feedback. Learning from failures enables you to see where you went wrong and learn from your mistakes.
Almost everyone knows who invented the light bulb. But it didn’t come easy for Thomas Edison.
He experimented with a wide variety of materials for the filament of the bulb that didn’t work. Edison is undoubtedly well aware that every failure is merely feedback.
Despite his numerous failed attempts, he saw them as opportunities to make the necessary adjustments. Edison once remarked, in response to a question regarding his failures:
“I have not failed. I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”
In his book Edison and the Rise of Innovation, Leonard DeGraaf said:
“One of the things that makes Edison stand out as an innovator was, he was very good at reducing the risk of innovation—he’s not an inventor that depends on just one thing. He knows that if one idea or one product doesn’t do well, he has others…that can make up for it.”
So, the next time you attempt something and do not succeed, just remember that failure is temporary. It’s just a stepping stone on the way to success.
And keep working at it until you achieve the results that you want.
Take a moment to reflect on your life and consider this:
Do things happen to you in life?
Or do things happen for you?
If life happens to you, it means you are confronted with terrifying, unpleasant, and tragic circumstances. When life happens for you, you realize that every happy and sad event shapes the person you are today.
I like the way author Byron Katie puts it:
“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it…. It’s just easier if you do.”
You are the one who gives meaning to your life’s experiences. This connects to the mindset:
“Your frame of mind dictates your level of success.”
So, what exactly is a frame of mind? The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defined it as a “mental attitude or outlook”. Simply said, it’s merely your point of view.
As humans, we tend to put everything into a mental framework in order to function.
A mental framework is just like a pair of glasses. Each time you change your glasses, you project a different image. Round frames exude a vintage look, while black chunky frames are perfect for making a bold statement.
So, each time you put a frame around an event in your life, it takes on a different meaning. The meaning you attach to an experience is determined by how you frame it in your mind.
You have the power to re-frame any situation in your life, just like changing your glasses affects your appearance. The frames (in your mind) influence how you see the world, yourself, others, and how you interpret your life.
Your ability to reframe gives you greater control over your thoughts, broadens your possibilities and expands your opportunities. Control over your thoughts means control over your behavior, which in turn helps yield a better outcome.
Look at the picture below. Do you see an old woman or a young lady?
An old woman and a young lady are blended into one picture in this illusion. There is no right or wrong way to see this image. It all depends on your frame of mind.
Flexibility, according to Wikipedia, is a personality trait that reflects the extent to which:
“A person can cope with changes in circumstances and think about problems and tasks in novel, creative ways.”
In life, change is the only constant. This means that, at any given moment, circumstances beyond your control might disrupt your plans and goals.
If you have a flexible personality, it means you can adjust and manage change while maintaining a positive outlook.
So, what do you do when things don’t go your way? How do you deal with changes that are beyond your control due to external factors? Are you flexible enough to adapt to life’s moments and be ready to change?
Whoever is the most adaptable and flexible is considered to have the most power.
You will be able to get better results in all facets of your life if you adopt this approach.
With a flexible state of mind, you will be ready for any unforeseen circumstances. You’ll always be able to get yourself out of a bind and have a few contingency plans in place.
And being able to embrace change and work your plans around it can expand your opportunities immensely.
And being able to embrace change and work your plans around it can expand your opportunities immensely.
Communication is another area where behavioral flexibility is beneficial. This is where you practice changing your communication style depending on the needs of the situation at the time.
Being able to communicate in a variety of ways puts you in command of any situation. It gives you the ability to influence those around you.
Combining flexibility with versatility makes you highly adaptable, according to Dr. Michael O’Connor, the author of The Platinum Rule.
Flexibility makes up your attitude because it is your willingness to adapt. Because it is about how well you can adapt to any given situation, versatility is all about your aptitude.
When you have both flexibility and versatility, you have the relevant behavioral flexibility to take control of any situation.
Finally, I’ll leave you with the second part of Marianne Williamson‘s opening line:
“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you trying not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. “
Go out there and make an impact. Use these five mindsets to unleash your most powerful and confident self.
It is already within you. Play big and make a dent in the universe.
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