Estimated Reading Time: 9 Minutes7 Secrets To Build Confidence And Make You Unstoppable

Building Confidence: Why Does It Matter?

Being confident means recognizing what you’re excellent at. It’s about the value you bring to the table and how you communicate that value to others.

Can you recall a time when you were extremely confident in your ability to do something?

How did you feel at the time? Did you ever feel unstoppable and ready to take on the world?

Confidence matters because it positively affects every area of your life, including work, relationships, and physical and mental health.

7 Subtle Secrets To Build Confidence

It’s long been recognized that your beliefs (whether true or false), guide your behaviors and define your life. Your thoughts and actions are the architects that will help you build confidence.

Essentially, confidence is based on your belief (in your ability to succeed) rather than your actual talent.

Now, let’s dive into seven intriguing, yet often overlooked, strategies for cultivating confidence that paves your path to success:

1. First, Get Yourself Out Of The Way

The first unspoken key to building confidence is to cease being your own harshest critic. Are you constantly comparing yourself to seemingly flawless individuals and feeling inadequate?

Don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others and feeling inferior as a result. You must understand that they have worked extremely hard to get to where they are now.

What you don’t see is how many times they tried and failed before finally succeeding. Instead, consider the end result of what you want to achieve. Think about how it will improve your quality of life.

Make the decision to be the person who can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Then, put aside your fears, doubts, and pressures in order to get yourself out of the way.

2. Ask Your Inner Critic To Shut Up

To build confidence, you must silence that nagging voice inside your head that doubts your actions and questions your choices.

This is your inner critic, that nagging voice inside you that governs your thoughts towards yourself and others.

Your inner critic usually takes shape during childhood, when painful life events are embedded in your subconscious mind. These negative voices may have originated from parents, teachers, or key caretakers when you were a child.

How can you break away from these self-loathing and negative self-talks that keep you trapped in a perpetual vicious cycle?

Is there a way to free yourself from these thoughts and develop a feeling of self-worth and unstoppable confidence?

Well, in order to silence your inner critic, you must first be aware of it. Your self-critical thoughts are simply beliefs that you have unknowingly implanted in your subconscious mind over time.

According to Denise Jacobs, author of Banish Your Inner Critic:

“Whenever you think in absolutes or hyperbole like, “I’ll never get better at this” or “I’m always behind schedule” you can be sure that you’re witnessing the Inner Critic’s handiwork.”

If you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, just rescript those words by saying something like:

“I did my best and I’m proud of myself for the effort I put in.”

3. Practice Mindfulness To Build Confidence

The practice of mindfulness is another approach to counteracting your subconscious mind’s steady stream of negative thoughts.

Mindfulness does more than just get you into a calmer state of mind. It also creates a buffer between you and those self-defeating thoughts.

Mindfulness is an effective tool that enhances your concentration, emotional balance, and mental calmness.

The intention of mindfulness is to focus your attention in the present moment and strengthen your body-mind connection.

Mindfulness meditation teaches you to accept and not judge your thoughts and feelings. According to a study published in the Global Journal of Health Science, it boosts self-esteem, a vital component of confidence.

When you begin to practice mindfulness, you become more aware of what is going on in your life. This gives you more control and improves your capacity to make better decisions.

Part of your mindfulness practice involves you taking a step back and examining your thoughts as they come and go. This gives you the freedom to select which feelings you want to embrace and which you want to avoid.

As a result, you’ll be able to call on this confidence when you need it most.

4. Always Be Well-prepared

Arthur Ashe, tennis legend and the first African-American male to win the US Open, once remarked that:

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.”

People who are confident are always prepared for what lies ahead. Your competence improves with planning and preparation, which in turn boosts your confidence.

Nothing builds confidence like preparation. Tony Schwartz, the author of The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working, advocates that:

“The best way to build confidence in a given area is to invest energy in it and work hard at it.”

When you are adequately prepared, it gives you the confidence to perform a task successfully. To boost your confidence, get involved in deliberate practice. It is essential in your bid to build confidence because it will always surpass your natural ability.

Furthermore, when you’re well-prepared, you’ll feel less stressed and more in control. It can also help you get a major competitive advantage, so you can think and act more effectively.

When it comes to being prepared, internalize the timeless words of the of the Roman stoic philosopher, Senaca:

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

5. Act As If You Already Have It

The most effective technique to build confidence is to act with the confidence you aspire to have. That is, act as though you already have the confidence you desire.

By acting as if something is real long enough, your behavior will become habitual. You will begin to forget that you are merely pretending.

This technique is known as the “As-If” frame. It is based on Hans Vaihinger’s article Philosophie des Als Ob (‘Philosophy of As If’), published in 1911.

The objective of the “As-If” frame is to allow you to put your limiting beliefs aside and explore alternative possibilities.

This is no different from the “fake it till you make it” formula advocated by the Law of Attraction movement.

When you’re afraid or unsure, close your eyes for a moment. Recall a time when you were confident and self-assured. Bring yourself back to that moment by using all of your senses.

You’ll be able to cultivate that emotion in the current moment if you do this. The mind and body influence one another. When you act confidently by replaying confident memories in your mind, your body will adopt a confident physiology as well.

If you intend to use this approach in other areas of your life, please do so with discretion. Because the “fake it till you make it” method has its limitations.

6. The Language of Confidence

Do you ever notice how confident people use a certain set of phrases in their everyday speech? If you pay close attention to their vocabulary, you might discover the following words in their everyday conversation:

Absolutely                     

Definitely               

Can

Undoubtedly                 

Will                         

Guaranteed

Sure                                

Of course                

Certainly

Without a doubt             

Know                       

Want

So, how do these words work to influence your thoughts and personality? W. Clement Stone, author of Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude, was quoted as saying:

“When we direct our thoughts properly, we can control our emotions.”

Your mind is incapable of distinguishing between fact and fantasy. As a result, the words you choose have a direct impact on your thoughts and emotions. And your emotions are essential in developing your confidence.

The language you use reflects your inner thoughts. When you use empowering words in your daily communication, you will become a more optimistic and happier person.

You will also be able to perceive things from a different perspective. As you do so, more possibilities will open up for you, and you’ll become more confident as a result.

Most people do not give much thought to the words they use when speaking. So, start by being conscious of your daily vocabulary.

Here are examples to show you how a confident person would speak versus someone who is not:

Confident statement: I will be there by 11 o’clock.

Unsure statement: I’ll try to be there by 11 o’clock.

Confident statement: I can travel to London next month.

Uncertain statement: I hope I can travel to London someday.

As you start using empowering words in your daily communication, your mindset and thoughts will change. And your confidence will soar.

7. Build Confidence With Self-Affirmations

You’re probably aware that your subconscious mind doesn’t discriminate between fact and fiction. This is why affirmations, which are sentences you repeat over and over until they become true, can be effective.

Repeating affirming statements like “I am a calm and confident person” regularly teaches your brain to believe them.

Besides being a powerful tool to manifest the changes you want in your life; they are ideal for building confidence. Because it has the power to rewire your brain.

But affirmations have their limitations. If you have a firmly ingrained negative belief in your subconscious mind, it can override a positive affirmation.

So, how do you put affirmations to work for you in your bid to build confidence? First, figure out what beliefs have been holding you back from building confidence.

Then, write down affirmations that will boost your confidence level. While you can use affirmations that you’ve read somewhere, it’s preferable to personalize your affirmations.

To benefit from the affirmations you have created, repeat them aloud for about five minutes, three times a day. If you keep a journal, you can also write your affirmations down several times in your journal.

Conclusion

Almost every aspect of living a happy and fulfilling life is tied to self-confidence. It is something everyone aspires to achieve.

Confidence is knowing that you have talents and positive qualities, that you can handle challenges and deal with challenging situations.

Confidence gives you the skills and coping strategies you need to deal with failure and setbacks. Once you have it, you will be virtually unstoppable.

Confidence will also bring you grit, mental toughness and the ability to persevere. It can help you with finding a decent job, getting more dates, and creating the life you desire.

Confidence binds you to your authentic self. It will make it easier for you to accept your imperfections since you’ll know there’s no bearing on your self-worth.

Now that you have learned the seven subtle secrets to building confidence, what is your next step?