“Rapport is the ability to enter someone else's world, to make him feel that you understand him, that you have a strong common bond.”
Very few of us are born with the innate skill or knowledge of how to be more likeable. It’s not uncommon to find ourselves lacking the innate charm or the ability to forge instant connections that seem to come naturally to some.
But here’s the good news: likeability is not an elusive trait reserved for a lucky few. It’s a skill, and skills can be acquired and honed over time.
You must learn the subtle art of rapport if you want to alter your relationships and leave a lasting impression. This is your secret weapon for improving your likeability and creating sincere connections with virtually everyone you come into contact with.
Becoming more likeable doesn’t start with charisma; it starts with the ability to build rapport.
In learning how to be more likeable, rapport-building is your foundational tool, empowering you to kickstart conversations that truly captivate and deeply engage those around you.
This is when you can relate to others in a way that fosters a sense of trust and understanding. Creating rapport simply means you have a connection, a relationship or a state of harmonious understanding.
Rapport is the reason some people have the ability to start a conversation and immediately draw people in. And it is one of the most important characteristics you will need when you interact with another person.
Picture this: the power to converse with individuals, irrespective of your differences, and have them not only comprehend your perspective but also embrace it.
That’s the essence of rapport, and it’s the linchpin of likeability. If you have been wondering about how to be more likeable, here are eight psychological techniques you can use:
We’ve all heard it before:
“You’ll never get a second chance to make a great first impression.”
It’s not just a saying; it’s science.
According to research by Princeton psychologists, it takes a mere tenth of a second to form an opinion about someone you’ve just met.
Astonishing, right? What’s even more fascinating is that once that initial impression is etched, it tends to linger, resistant to change.
Understanding the gravity of this momentous first encounter is the first step in your quest to master ‘how to be more likeable.’
Getting a grip on how people converse with each other is pivotal to creating that immediate connection, making it a vital skill in your bid to become more likeable.
Everyone primarily relies on one of three ways of processing information: through sight (visual), sound (auditory), or physical sensations (kinesthetic).
Your task? Pay keen attention to the cues in their speech and body language. If visual cues abound, resonate with phrases like:
“Do you see what I mean?”
Or
“Do you get the picture?”
Harnessing this shared visual language will subconsciously spark rapport.
Conversely, those favoring auditory cues may say:
“This doesn’t sound right.”
Or
“That rings a bell.”
Your response? Mirror their auditory language:
“I can hear what you are saying.”
Or
“This doesn’t sound right.”
By harmonizing your communication style with theirs, you’re essentially ‘speaking their language’ and forging an instantaneous connection.
It’s a concrete tool that you can apply right away to elevate your likeability quotient.
When it comes to discovering ‘how to be more likeable,’ one golden rule stands tall: ‘people like people who are like them’.
Finding common ground acts as a rapid trust-builder. The more shared interests you unearth, the smoother your path to rapport establishment becomes.
People naturally ease into the company of those who mirror their own worldviews.
Whether it’s sharing the same hometown, attending the same alma mater, or bonding over shared hobbies, these commonalities serve as bridges to quicker connections.
But what if you’re faced with a situation where you seemingly have nothing in common with the person you’re engaging with? Or worse, you know next to nothing about them?
Here’s the secret to forging instant rapport when commonalities seem scarce: A whopping 93% of communication transpires at an unconscious level.
Enter the 7-38-55 Rule of Communication:
Now, if you can subliminally convey the message that says, “You and I are on the same wavelength,” you’ll earn trust almost effortlessly.
People will naturally respect and like you, often without comprehending the ‘why’ behind it.
It’s a potent tool for enhancing your likeability, even in the most challenging interactions.
Achieving ‘how to be more likeable’ status often involves a little psychological finesse. One potent technique to swiftly establish rapport is through the subtle art of mirroring.
Picture it as a dance where you effortlessly mimic their body language, gestures, and choice of words. But here’s the kicker: it’s not about mimicry; it’s about connection.
Mirroring, as the name implies, involves ‘reflecting’ their movements back to them. The more someone perceives you as akin to them, the smoother the rapport-building process becomes at an unconscious level.
A word of caution, though: subtlety is the name of the game. If your mirroring becomes too overt, it can backfire and offend.
Instead, consider switching between mirroring and matching, where you momentarily pause before gracefully adopting their posture. Over time, you can even sync up with their tonality, physiology, and breathing, deepening the connection.
Mastering how to be more likeable extends beyond just mirroring. It’s about steering the conversation in a way that keeps you in the driver’s seat.
It’s called “pacing and leading.”
Pacing entails observing the other person’s rhythm, imitating their communication style, and proving that you are on the same page. Once you’ve established this connection, you’re ready to take the lead.
Direct the conversation softly and without resistance in the direction you want it to go. This strategic mindset equips you with the tools to navigate conversations skillfully and guide them in a manner that propels your goals forward.
It will also simultaneously boost your likeability.
In the quest to uncover how to be more likeable, the strategy of active listening emerges as a game-changer. When you practice active listening, you signal to the other person that they have your undivided attention.
Frequently referred to as empathic listening, it may do wonders for establishing connections.
Here’s the deal: Active listening demands more than just hearing words. It involves summarizing the other person’s message, posing pertinent questions, and employing the right non-verbal cues.
Think of it as tuning into the other person’s wavelength and truly comprehending their perspective.
Mark Twain’s words resonate here:
“If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one ear.”
They excel at active listening, which sets them apart in the realm of likeability. Why does it work so effectively?
Because when you listen attentively, you make others feel valued, important, and worthy. By letting them take the stage in the conversation, you demonstrate respect and genuine interest.
It’s a tried-and-true method to make yourself more likeable and make a good impression.
Developing ‘how to be more likeable’ status requires a holistic strategy that engages both your conscious and unconscious thinking.
This is where hypnosis comes into play as a quick and effective tool to assist you in learning and mastering these techniques.
It works by enabling you to more quickly learn new things by “implanting” them into your mind.
The “Confident You” hypnotic script I’ve crafted below is your key to mastering the art of connecting with others effortlessly.
With this powerful tool at your disposal, you can enhance your likeability quotient and forge instant rapport with those you meet.
The 'Confident You' Hypnotic Script
Gently close your eyes and take a deep breath…with each breath you’re feeling more and more comfortable and more and more relaxed…where ever you are now…you’re experiencing a very calm and confident feeling…even if you can hear sounds coming from around you… it only helps you to relax even more…
Count down slowly from 10 to 1…with each number…you’ll begin to feel more and more relaxed…10…slowly relax as you take a deep breathe…9…8…let yourself slowly sink deeply as you become more and more relaxed…
7…you are feeling absolutely great about yourself…6…drifting slowly…5 with each breathe you are feeling calm…comfortable…relaxed…4…3…that’s right…just allow yourself to drift…slowly…more relaxed…2…1…
Feeling very confident… and very relaxed…imagine yourself walking with confidence into a special place…a place you can create to be anything you like…and you feel comfortable and at ease here…as you look around you… perhaps you are by yourself…
Or perhaps there are people…it does not matter…if there are people here… they are all friendly people…people who will give you all their support…in this place…your confidence overwhelms any unwanted feelings that you have…the feeling that you already know how to be more likeable…
You exude confidence…and feeling good about yourself…when you’re thinking about how good you look…your mind is filled with positive thoughts only…now…take a deep breath…and as you breath…you breathe in all the positive things about yourself…and you breathe out all negative thoughts in you with each outbreath…
You’re full of confidence and charisma…and this makes you excited to meet new people… you are able to instantly establish rapport with anyone you meet…because you know how to be more likeable…and have all the skills and necessary to connect with people…
You employ all the strategies that you have learned here… the techniques on how to be more likeable…and you realize how easy it is to start a conversation…
Make a good first impression…and get into the flow of things…and…
You are capable of engaging yourself in a conversation from the very start…because you’ve learned how to be more likeable…and easily be completely focused on what the other person has to say…and whether you are engaged in a conversation or simply just mingling with people…you are feeling calm…at ease…and filled with confidence…
Wherever you may be…it is a comfort zone for you…and you can exude your confidence and charisma effortlessly…anyone who talk to you will enjoy what you have to say…
They also appreciate that you listen actively to their every word… and ask questions when is an appropriate time to do so…you can keep the conversation going and…by pacing and leading…you can lead the conversation to any subject you like…
Now…as you take a deep breath…and your mind filled with calm…confident…and positive energy…. you can just relax and enjoy this moment…and in a few moments time…you will be waking up…and you will wake up fresh…empowered…and confident…and filled with positive energy…
Upon awakening…you can feel your confidence…and you can handle any social situations…you have all the skills and knowledge to establish rapport with anyone you meet…you know in great detail everything there is to know about how to be more likeable…
You begin by creating a fail-safe first impression…because you understand the way people communicate…you always find something in common with the people you want to communicate with…
And you can skillfully communicate at both the conscious and unconscious level…again you can also subtly match and mirror their body language…you can do this with ease and confidence…
And pace and lead as the conversation progresses…and you display a charismatic personality because…you practice active listening all the time.
The endgame of rapport-building is to build connections that give birth to trust and openness. This holds true in both social and business settings.
Nevertheless, bear in mind that to convert these strategies into tangible outcomes, you must be willing to dive in and put them to the test in the real world.
Consider enlisting a close friend, family member, or colleague as your practice partner. This initial phase allows you to refine your skills in a familiar setting.
When you find yourself on the same wavelength as someone, that’s the moment you’ve truly earned their trust, understanding, and respect. It’s a significant turning point when you’ve crossed the divide by “speaking their language.”
At this juncture, you can confidently declare that you’ve truly mastered the art of rapport-building. So, put these tactics into action immediately and witness your likeability skyrocket to unprecedented levels.
DISCLOSURE: In my article, I’ve mentioned a few products and services, all in a valiant attempt to turbocharge your life. Some of them are affiliate links. This is basically my not-so-secret way of saying, “Hey, be a superhero and click on these links.” When you joyfully tap and spend, I’ll be showered with some shiny coins, and the best part? It won’t cost you an extra dime, not even a single chocolate chip. Your kind support through these affiliate escapades ensures I can keep publishing these useful (and did I mention free?) articles for you in the future.
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