How Significant Emotional Events Can Empower You

by | Mar 3, 2016 | Therapy & Behavioral Change | 0 comments

“Painful as it may be, a Significant Emotional Event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us more effectively. Look for the learning.” ~ Louisa May Alcott significant emotional events


Have you ever experienced a significant emotional event that impact your life? The kind that brings with it emotional and psychological reactions?


Significant Emotional Events (SEE) are events with the capacity to change your perspective in life, your value system and your view of the world.


Sociologist Morris Massey has defined the concept of SEE as an experience that is so “mentally arresting” that it becomes a catalyst for you to consider, examine, and possibly change your initial values or value system.



Significant Emotional Events

No matter what age, gender or race, SEEs appears randomly in everybody’s life. You will be unaware as it jolts you out of your slumber and “awakens” your inner giant. It pushes you out of your comfort zone.  Its’ impact is so significant that it would spur you to contemplate life and examine your personal values. 


If you are unaware, a Significant Emotional Event can hit you like a ton of bricks. As Massey puts it, “the common denominator of significant emotional events is a challenge and a disruption to our present behavior patterns and beliefs”


Positive SEEs are marriage, the birth of a child or a job promotion. The traumatic and negative ones come in a form of a separation, critical illness, job layoff or death.


SEEs are unavoidable and it hits you when you least expect it. You may be driven to another level of success, motivation and happiness by positive Significant Emotional Events. But what if you are hit with negative SEEs? 



The Perils of Negative Significant Emotional Events

The resulting emotions which follows SEEs can be trapped in our bodies. These trapped emotions which remain in our memories may potentially be the cause of many mental and physical dis-eases.


Negative SEEs may have occurred during childhood. They may potentially be the source of mental, emotional and physical disharmony in the body. Besides dis-eases, negative emotions trapped in your body can be crippling and slows progress in many areas of your life.


Let’s suppose one of the Significant Emotional Event in your life was a recent divorce. Because of the trapped emotions created by the SEE, each subsequent relationship ends the exact same way. You may not even recall the negative emotions, but at a certain point these emotions may resurface and put an end to the relationship.


You may not be aware of it, but the negative emotions of hurt and disappointment trapped in your body may have prevented you from enjoying a normal healthy relationship.



How Significant Emotional Events Can Empower You

The trapped emotions caused by negative SEEs may have embedded memories of the event in your subconscious mind. In order for you to avoid another cycle of “relationships ending badly”, it is essential to release these trapped emotions from your body.


Your memories may have strong indelible imprints of emotions such as shock, surprise, fear or anger after the negative SEEs. In your subconscious mind, memories are permanently stored in the form of images, sounds, smells, tastes, words and feelings.



You can harness these memories into something positive in your life by converting Significant Emotional Events into positive emotions. 



5 Steps to Transform Significant Emotional Events into Empowering Memories

  1.  Close your eyes and imagine a straight horizontal line. This line represents your life. All the way to the left of the line is your past and all the way to the right represents your future. As you examine this line, allow yourself to drift back to a time in your life when these SEEs occurred. How old were you and how did you looked back then? What can you see in the past?


  1.  Picture an image of yourself in the past. This image of you in the past is about to go through the SEE. The image of you in the past have no awareness of the event but the “you” now have the wisdom, knowledge and experience to change your past experience.


  1.  Imagine now that you are sharing this experience with the “you” in the past. How do you advice your “younger self” on handling these emotions? What knowledge or resources can you share with your younger self so that he or she can make an entirely different decision and create a new “meaning” to that SEE?


  1.  Once you have done that, guide the “you” in the past and help him or her go through the experience with the knowledge, skill and wisdom you now possess. Notice how the “you” in the past reacts to the new experience as you bring him or her forward in time. As you change the whole “meaning” of the past experience, look into the future. Take note of your feelings now.


  1.  Say “thank you” to the “you” in the past for his or her courage and for being willing to go through this experience with you. Then, step back into the present and open your eyes. Take a few moments to enjoy the feeling of being refreshed and renewed.


Word of Caution
You may experience intense emotions during this exercise. Therefore, it is highly recommended that you do this with an experienced therapist.


You can seek the help of a therapist to “convert” these into memories that empowers you. Practitioners of NeuroLinguistic Programing (NLP), Time Line Therapy and Hypnotherapy can help you work on your negative Significant Emotional Events.


Your subconscious mind is given a new language and suggestions for change during therapy session. Your memories are given new and positive “meaning”. In short, and you will be able to “re-experience” these SEEs in a positive and empowering way.

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