8 Conversational Strategies to Create Intense Attraction with Women

by | Jan 21, 2016 | Love & Relationship, Pursuit of Happiness | 0 comments

You have mustered the courage to introduce yourself to an attractive woman or have successfully asked her out on a date.   Now, everything hinges on your conversational prowess. Here are 8 proven conversational strategies to help you to create intense attraction with women:



Preparation: Getting Ready for a Good Conversation

1.  Walk into any situation prepared and confident

This sounds easier said than done. Confidence is the knowingness of how good you are. What if you don’t think you are good enough?

Hone your confidence by doing a 10 point analysis of all your positive traits. It could be anything from physical attributes (“I have a good smile”) to a skill (I am a handy at bike repair).

Every day, before you step out of your home, tell yourself “today is the best day of my life”.  In your daily interactions with people – from the newsagent to the waitress at the diner to your local grocer – make small talk and try to make pleasant conversation whenever you can. Make them feel glad that they have interacted with you for the day.

The daily preparation will come in handy when you meet an attractive woman and engage her in a conversation.


2.   Create a mystical aura 

Being well read will broaden the scope of your conversational topics and makes you stand out from the crowd. Increase your knowledge beyond the realm of world affairs, politics, fashion and entertainment. Always be ready to delve into a variety of topics.

The deeper you can delve in a conversation with a woman, the further you will be able to progress in creating intense attraction. Not to mention creating a greater separation between you and your closest competitor. There’s nothing sweeter than crushing the competition and destroying their morale.  😆 

If you have the skills to read body language and subtle signs in people, it will give you an edge in scoring with a woman.  Create a mystical yet emotional aura about you and begin by structuring the conversation based on something you have observed about her.



Pacing: Control the Flow of the Conversation

3.   Intersperse your questioning with statements

If you are one of those nervous types who try to impress a girl by keeping the conversation going with a barrage of “getting acquainted” questions, you are running the risk of taking her to the kingdom of boredom. You will also risk sabotaging interrupting the flow of the conversation.

Intersperse your questioning in this format:

You question – she answers – you make a statement based on her answer – ask another question (and repeat the loop). This technique will demonstrate to her that you are a skilled conversationalist and able to shift the flow of the conversation to make it an interesting one.

Listen with intent and not be preoccupied with waiting for your turn to speak. Speak only when necessary and instead aim to be a good listener. Display finesse by withholding your thoughts and ideas out of the conversation and use them only when necessary. Instead, make use of statements to validate her thoughts and opinions.


4.  Choose your passion as a topic of conversation

With reference to #3 above, instead of making her feel bored with the run-of-the-mill “getting acquainted” questions, aim for a conversation that can keep her excited and engrossed. In your bid to create an interesting conversation, nothing beats talking about your passion. Women are attracted to men with passion as it symbolizes drive – the side of men that know what they want and go after it.

When you talk about your passion, you can be fully involved and energized about the topic. This is a time when you can engage her in a conversation where you can just speak from your heart and conjure up words that are multi-sensory.

Please do not brag. Unless you want to be branded as a jerk who is full of himself.

8 conversational

 5. Feed her words back to her . . . subtly

Another key to listening intently when she speaks is to be aware of her use of “value words”. These words are an embodiment of her core likes and dislikes.

Supposing she speaks admirably about an adventurous person who is caring and understanding, her value words are “adventure”, “care” and understand”. Throughout the course of the conversation, try to embed these words into the conversation and subtly associate them to you.

You can form a sentence like:

“I feel that life is like a big and exciting adventure” and sporadically throughout the course of your conversation, affirm her statements with the words “I understand”.


6.  Make your conversational tone emotion-based

Women are more emotionally inclined than men and therefore, any emotions that arise from her conversation may be linked to you. Thus, it would be a good strategy to evoke positive emotions in her as she will associate those feelings with her.

In your questions, aim for her to answer with specific feelings – preferably positive ones (eg. “How did you feel during the river cruise you took last summer?”). Then make remarks and statements (#3 above) in relation to those positive emotions.

Try to steer clear from fact-based questions or statements. Your objective is to associate ALL her positive emotions to you.



Performance: Conversing with Finesse 

7.  Use non-verbal cues to create instant rapport

The golden rule when demonstrating the skills of a good listener is to smile and have a pleasant eye contact.  Then, accentuate that smile with a slight tilt of your head as a display of trust and comfort.

According to the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, we are attracted to people who resemble our parents or ourselves. To gain rapport and trust, match your communication style with hers. Observe her sitting position and gestures, then try to mirror them. Do your mirroring subtly and be careful not to mirror like a chimp or you’ll be perceived as weird or psychotic.


8.  Have fun and let the good times roll

Focus on having a meaningful conversation instead of on the end result.

Lock in a mindset of having fun, being in the moment and enjoying the conversation. This will allow you to be in a state of flow and the conversation will take on a life of its own. It will even allay your fear of not knowing what to say or being too preoccupied with trying to create the perfect thing to say.

When you are having fun, you will come across as a fun person and the mirror effect will cause her to relax and have fun as well. Just imagine where this can all lead to.

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