An Instant Guide to Men’s Mind(set)

An Instant Guide to Men’s Mind(set)

The following are a set of rules. These rules does speak for the majority of the male population (men who don’t think so are welcome to comment). Whoever wrote this is brilliant. It is periodically splashed across the internet but I can’t seem to pinpoint to the original author (though I would readily acknowledge his work and his brilliance). an instant guide to men

An Instant Guide to Men’s Mind(set)

Women who are seeking to know men better would find these rules helpful. Women who chose to ignore these rules do so at their own risk. All rules are numbered as #1, so I presume they are of equal importance.

An Instant Guide to Men’s Mind(set)

1. Breasts are for looking at and that’s why we do it. Don’t try to change that.

[This is the first on the list, so it must be the most important rule. Only a fraction of men will admit to this. Those who do are the real men. Those who don’t are liars, are afraid to admit it and try to act “holier than thou”. Ladies, stay away from these men.]

1.  Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

[Folks, don’t be surprise how much of an issue this could be…]

1. Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of tides. Let it be.

[This is a favorite. Sports is rather sacred to men.]

  An Instant Guide to Men’s Mind(set)

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

[This is consistent with the above rule. As for men who are not professional racers (ie. NASCAR, Formula 1, Demolition Derby, etc.) but engage in blatantly driving their “sports cars” (modified vehicles that sounds like one but looks like a regular car) irresponsibly on roads where ordinary folks frequent – that ain’t a sport. It just means that you suffer from a lack of self-esteem and/or have not discovered what you want to do with your life yet. It’s not the right way to impress women, nor does it boost your self-esteem.]

1. Crying is blackmail.

[This one speaks for itself.]

A Man Who Sends Mixed Signals

A Man Who Sends Mixed Signals

I found a surprise letter in my mailbox. Yes, I mean a handwritten, old fashioned two-page long letter, delivered to my house with care by the mailman. (Yes, don’t be overly surprised – some people do still write letters nowadays.) man who sends mixed signals

 

It was from a guy whom I hadn’t spoken to in three months, ever since I moved to another state.

A Man Who Sends Mixed Signals

In the fully written two-page letter, he listed eight “wonderful and rather unique” qualities he had observed in me (in eight separate paragraphs). It was an extremely well composed letter – no spelling or grammatical errors.

 

I have to say I was quite touched (and flattered) by the kind words in his letter. Yet, I couldn’t help but laughed out loud after reading it.

 

That wasn’t the first time he did something “like that.” Sending mixed signals. Being all confusing. “Toying” with my emotions. Trying to pretend that he’s Romeo.

 

This happened to be the same guy who sent me roses to my work place on my birthday. The one who asked me out on a date on Valentine’s Day. The same guy who took me to his company annual Christmas party and brought me home on Thanksgiving to meet his entire family. The same guy who told me I was wonderfully unique and every man’s dream-come-true.

 

A Man Who Does Not Know What He Wants?

Coincidentally, he was also the same guy who told me he wasn’t sure if he “loves” me or “likes”me. And wasn’t sure if we should be more than friends. The same guy who disappeared on me for no apparent reason for three whole weeks. The one who told me he needed some quiet time with God so he could get a definite sure “yes” from God to date me. The same man who told me he wasn’t sure if he was ready for a “serious” relationship.

 

The funniest part of all: till now, he kind of believes that my entire world is waiting for him and my life happiness solely depends on his existence.

 

Perhaps that’s why he felt obligated to check on me from time to time, by surprise… (Let’s see if she’s still alive without me in her life…)

 

Moving On

The fact is: I have moved on long, long, long time ago. He is as ancient as a dinosaur to me.

 

An intelligent woman simply does not put her life (and happiness) on hold because of a man. Especially not a man who is wishy washy and not “man” enough to make up his mind. Man Who Sends Mixed Signals

 

My sincere advice to all women: If a man cannot seem to decide if he wants you or not (sending all sorts of mixed signals and acting indecisively), go ahead and make a decision FOR HIM.

 

He does not deserve you. Wave your hand at him and say goodbye forever. Do not invest another second on him. Do not look back. As simple as that.

10 Qualities of An Ideal Man

10 Qualities of An Ideal Man

While I do not believe that “The One” exist, I do believe there are certain qualities in a man that is on the criteria list of most women out there. Here’s my list of 10 qualities of an ideal man.

10 qualities of an ideal man

1)  Optimistic and Great Sense of Humor

He has a positive outlook on life, even when things aren’t bright and sunny. With a great sense of humor, he always makes you laugh. Most of the time, he is someone who is very fun and enjoyable to be with.

 

2)  Faithful/Loyal and Committed

He is someone who is reliable and trustworthy. You know deep down in your heart that you can always count on him for support, understanding, and comfort. Most importantly, you can trust him that he won’t deliberately do things or make decisions that would hurt you or the relationship/marriage.

 

3)  Great Communication Skills

Without being judgmental, he practices patience and empathetic listening. He tries to see things from your point of view before providing solutions or advice and is able to get his message across by conveying his thoughts effectively.

10 qualities of an ideal man

4)  Respect You and Treat You as an Equal Partner

Your opinions are valued and he genuinely wants to understand your thoughts. He discusses things with you before making important decisions. Not to mention having a deep respect for you, your family, your friends, your choices, your career, and your space/privacy.

 

5)  Affectionate, Sensitive, and Romantic

He expresses his love and care for you through simple, affectionate gestures like hugs, kisses, holding hands, calls, sweet little notes/cards, saying “I love you,” and etc. Attentive and sensitive to your needs, he cheerfully does little things to make you happy and loved and cared for.

 

6)  Appreciative and Forgiving

He doesn’t take you or the relationship/marriage for granted and appreciates you and the things you do for him on a daily basis. A very forgiving person, he doesn’t hold grudges when you unintentionally hurt his feelings or make mistakes. 

 

7)  Love You Just the Way You Are

You are good enough just the way you are – in fact, in his eyes, you are the best and accepts you as a total package – the good and the not-so-good. He helps and encourages you to learn and grow to your fullest potential, instead of molding you to become the “dream girl” or “ideal wife” in his fantasy.

8)  Financially Responsible

Notice I didn’t mention “financially wealthy” – I said “financially responsible.” You don’t have to be a millionaire or make a million a year. It’s not about how much money you make but rather how well you manage what you have – making wise financial decisions, plans, and investments.

 

9)  Passionate about Life

He has other passions in life other than you, for example his work, hobbies, interests, friends, family, religious beliefs, and etc. A person who takes good care of himself, he doesn’t rely on you entirely for his happiness. He deeply believes and feels that life is wonderful and worth living and he’s committed to life long learning and self development.

 

10)  Confident and Competent

He is confident, but not arrogant. Men are born leaders, protectors, and providers (at least they deeply believe they are) – we all know that. It’s nothing new. However, in order for a woman to genuinely and deeply admire, adore, and respect her man, he has to be competent to begin with. That doesn’t mean he has to perfect (everybody makes mistakes) or has supernatural powers. But he kind of has to know what he’s doing.

10 Tips On How to Express Your Feelings (Without Embarrassing Yourself)

10 Tips On How to Express Your Feelings (Without Embarrassing Yourself)

You have known a girl for a while or you’ve just met a girl and think that she’s the one. You want to tell her you like her. Before you take the plunge, it is essential to have clarity of thought. Here are 10 tips on expressing your feelings to a girl that you like her:

express your feelings

1. Prepare yourself. Do whatever it takes to make you feel confident of yourself. You don’t have to be as good looking as Bradley Cooper or Johnny Depp but you must look presentable.

2. Know what you want to say beforehand. Exude confidence and sure of yourself. That alone would speak volumes for you. In the event that you are feeling nervous and had forgotten a rehearsed line (there should be NO rehearsed line in the first place, but I know some of you can’t help it), just remember the KISS formula – Keep It Sweet & Simple. expressing your feelings

3. Whether her response is positive, negative or indifferent, be ready for whatever comes. Being poise and calmly help you get into her good books eventually. Whining like a sore loser will not change the situation if things are not working out.

4. Be frank and straight to the point. Being wishy-washy and beating around the bush will make you look like a wimp. Once you are in front of her, you have already committed yourself to telling her how you feel.

5. Never make her feel like she owes you anything. She will become really uncomfortable. Anyway, nobody owes you anything.

6. Always be prepared to lose her. If she does not reciprocate your feelings, take it like a man. It’s not the end of the world. There are many more fishes in the sea. Unless of course, if you live in a small village in the Amazon jungle where there are only two females – the girl you are targeting and her grandmother.

expressing your feelings

7. Your life must not revolve around her and her alone. If you don’t have a life, go get a life. Having other interest and hobbies will make appear more interesting, appealing and multi-dimensional. And it give you a wider repertoire in your conversations.

8. The biggest no-no before the start of a relationship is to fantasize about your ‘girl to be’ before anything serious or romantic happens. You don’t want the girl to get the impression that you are a desperate or worse, a sexual deviant.

9. Never ever come on too strong. Most often than not, men likes to jump the gun. Often impatient, they want to move to third base before they even start pitching [see no. 8 above]. expressing your feelings

10. The best way to express your feelings is through your action because action speaks louder than wordsUse your feelings and express yourself with your heart rather than your mind. If you are able to make her “feel” your feelings without resorting to too many words or logic, you are home!

express your feelings

Should Women Ask a Guy Out On a Date?

Should Women Ask a Guy Out On a Date?

There are two differing schools of thought on this. The first school advocates that the GUY should take the first initiatives and should call and ask the girl for a date.

should women ask a guy out on a date?

The other school, more apparent in recent times, has a more liberal view where either party may the first move, depending on the situation.

 

What if you wait for him to ask you out but he never does? Does it mean, he is not into you? Or is he plainly shy? Or he is a novice at the dating game and knows not what to do?

 

Through forums and interviews with men on the idea of being asked out on a date, the response is pretty positive. Most of the men I have spoken to actually welcome the idea.

should women ask a guy out on a date?

Like men, women also fear rejection when asking men out. They also risk being perceived as desperate, which would not necessarily be the case. Most men will think that you are sure of yourself and just getting what you want.

 

It also takes lots of pressure off men. A lot of men do not have a clue on dating women.

should women ask a guy out on a date?

If you feel that it’s a lot of hard work asking a guy out, you could drop some subtle hints. Make as if you are helping him to date you by ‘opening the door’.

 

You could try something like “how about we get together for coffee some time?” Leave your contact number and walk away. It might take a while before he calls. Two to three weeks lead time is normal, because he might be busy and have stuffs to handle.

 

There are no hard and fast rules and the best is to play by ear.

Why A Long Distance Relationship Might (Not) Work

Why A Long Distance Relationship Might (Not) Work

Richard Marx’s rendition of Right Here Waiting speaks volumes for a long distance relationship:

 

“Oceans apart, day after day and I slowly go insane, I hear your voice on the line but it doesn’t stop the pain. I see you next to never, how can we say forever”

 

 

A Long Distance Relationship Is NOT for Everyone

People who had experienced a long distance relationship would most likely mention about the tears, the loneliness, the heartaches, and the sleepless nights. Nevertheless, a successful long distance relationship ending up in rewarding, satisfying partnerships and marriages do exist in reality.

 

If you are someone who ranks physical intimacy over emotional connection, distance may be extremely challenging to you. Perhaps you are someone who treasures spending quality time and engaging in fun activities with your lover more so than having deep, meaningful conversations, exchanging thoughts and ideas, and sharing life experiences together. In that case, you might want to think twice before entering into a long distance relationship.

 

If you believe he/she is “The-One” you have been waiting for all your life and you couldn’t possibly imagine finding someone else who touches your heart like he/she does, then be brave and go for it. Don’t let the distance be an obstacle. After all, it’s better to find out the answer yourself than to wonder about what-ifs or regret later in your life.

 

The Pros of a Long Distance Relationship

1. The passion is more manageable. Since you don’t see each other often, you are more likely be able to keep the fire under control. The symptoms of infatuation in the early stage are less severe than an average relationship. You are also less likely to confuse lust with love.

2. You really get to know someone at a deep, meaningful level and the emotional bonding is strong. Many couples in a common relationship setting are merely “activity partners” during the courting stage. They might see each other all the time but that doesn’t mean they really know and understand each other deeply. In a long distance relationship, you spend hours doing nothing but communicating, which then leads to a deeper, more fulfilling relationship.

3. The precious moments you spend together will be something you cherish and not take things for granted.

4. You learn to be self content but also, at the same time, receive emotional support from the one you love.

5. One of the valuable lessons you will learn in a long distance relationship is building a strong trust foundation for the relationship, learning how to control your jealousy and not let your imagination run wild. If you realize you can’t trust that person, no matter how hard you try – that is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

 

 

The Cons of A Long Distance Relationship

1. Loneliness/emptiness. Yes, there will be tons of moments when you feel lonely and wish he/she was there with you, especially during those cold lonely nights.

2. Emotional stress – Face the truth, keeping a relationship alive across the miles is HARD WORK. Whoever tells you otherwise is a liar – don’t ever talk to him/her again.

3. No physical intimacy, hugs, kisses or holding hands. Can you really survive?

4. Misunderstandings and conflicts are often very challenging when they do happen. Or in some cases, they cannot be resolved for days, weeks, or even months. Why? Imagine if he or she is upset with you and refuse to talk to you (won’t answer your calls, text messages or emails). Serious communication breakdown. What would you do? What could you do? You are miles away… Frustrating, is it not?

5. You won’t be able to be there for each other during unpredictable events or crises, no matter how much you want to or wish to. 

 

A long distance relationship can work. However, it takes an enormous amount of effort, commitment, trust, and love to succeed, not to mention mental maturity, emotional stability, and courage.

 

In most cases, when a long distance relationship breaks down or ends in failure, the couple puts the blame on the “distance.” However, I believe that the “distance” merely intensifies the core problem of the relationship – it itself is not the problem.

 

It (the distance) allows you to see the true problem of your relationship clearly and forces you to face it … for better, or for worse.

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