Is He Thinking Long Term Commitment?

by | Dec 21, 2015 | Love & Relationship, Pursuit of Happiness | 0 comments

Many women still face the conundrum of trying to figure out what a man wants from a relationship. Even though most would agree that a man’s mind is not as perplexing as a woman when it pertains to relationship matters.  long term commitment


Here are three seemingly insurmountable relationship challenges that most women face.



Men’s Fear of Long Term Commitment

In a survey of 12000 men and women between the age of 15-44, 66% of the men opted for marriage versus staying single. Only 51% of women chose marriage as an option.


The underlying reason for men’s fear of commitment is the fear of losing their freedom, of losing sexual excitement and their prerogative to pursue their dreams. If you can allay these fears, it would encourage the man to look into the option of a long term commitment. If you show any signs of desperation or ‘clingy-ness’, it will trigger his “fight or flight” response. In most cases, it would be flight.


Convince him that you are multi-faceted woman and have a balanced social, work and lifestyle. That is the key to getting a long term commitment from a man. This will assure him that you WANT to be with him and not NEED to be with him.  


If a man is in the process of getting his act together it may also keep his focus away from being committed. When striving to establish certain social or financial status, his mind will be geared towards self-development or building a career instead of sustaining a relationship.


Men Are Emotionally Suppressed long term commitment

Most men suppress their feelings for lack of a socially acceptable emotional outlet. This may prove to be a challenge especially for women in a relationship where men is perceived as insensitive, unemotional, and oblivious to feelings. Evolutionary demands have not been kind to men in terms of being emotionally expressive. For as long as we can remember, the “strong silent” type is the ultimate role model.


Women’s readiness to confide on relationship issues with their friends make them more able to resolve emotional challenges. For men, it’s a societal norm to bottle up failed relationships and turn them into rage.


Men may be more emotional than women. It’s just that they have been conditioned to keep it hidden and under control. Thus, the display of emotions is considered by men as weakness and vulnerability. And risk being ridiculed in the presence of other men.


Be encouraging and patient if the man you are in a relationship is in one of those “emotional funnels”. Your constant encouragement will slowly increase his comfort level to openly express his emotions. Give him time and space to process his emotions. Do your best to avoid all forms of criticisms or ridicule as he may channel his emotions into anger and frustrations and become confrontational.


Offer compassion and support and give assurance that you will be there for him when he needs you. However, do not “talk about it” unless you sensed that he’s ready. If he’s ever ready.



Men Are Ego Driven

The male ego.


Where do I begin?


Picture a Mimosa Pudica, the perennial herb known as “touch-me-not”. You can liken a man’s ego to this little plant with compound leaves that retracts when touched. In short, if you hurt a man’s ego, he withdraws and you lose his trust or you may lose him completely. You must understand that man will let his ego control his emotions than allow his heart to control it.


If you can “manage” a man’s ego, you will enjoy a fulfilling relationship for the longest time. All men have egos. His ego is the brick wall between his mind and his emotions. You can’t bring it down by force. You need to soften it reach his emotions.


To keep your relationship fresh and healthy, bolster his self-esteem with a dose of appreciation. Let him know how you feel about his intelligence, physical appearance, sexual performance and things that matters to him. Tip: Do it in a positive tone. Because it works all the time.


Praise, acknowledge and make him feel adequate. It is a good start towards a long lasting relationship. Or else, some other woman may just come along make him feel that way.

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